if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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