what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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