We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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