hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Can I color on your dick again?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
