He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
