I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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