Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Let's get the cat blown out
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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