Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
