yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize