In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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