I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
