we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
