I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
