We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
