I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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