Sry I called you an 8
I wish my penis had an off switch
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
