these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
