People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
