I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize