What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
