there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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