there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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