I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
too bad you live with your parents still
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
