On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize