Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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