I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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