He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
