the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I deserve this hangover.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
