just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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