How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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