If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
try to milk me bitch
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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