If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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