i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize