i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
