If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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