8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
