Small penises have feelings too.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
