so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize