i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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