After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
