im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
