: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have peed in a lot of sinks
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
