boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
