We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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