i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
