Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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