i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
