Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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