I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Success! We fucked roommates!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
