Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
