I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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