My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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