on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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