Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
