You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
