Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
