The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
