No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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