Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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