How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
