She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
