The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
