My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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